I am well in my soul....not always, but that's when I know I'm really living well; when I'm Living well from the Inside Out.
It's here where I really live, where I breathe and believe in so much more than what I see. It's my soul's workshop filled with what I've come through, me in this moment and hints of where I'm headed in heart and soul.
A journal, really. The kind where I take ALL God's given me, form words and then give them away in little morsels from the seat of my soul to slowly sink into yours. It's the place I tinker and toy with life lessons, sharing hopes of peace and purpose. It's what I wish to wrap up as a gift for two girls who fill my heart with gratitude and gumption to live well each day!
I’ll be blessed to share a word once in a while that resonates with you! Now, pull up a chair and rest with me…..
God’s always creatively crafting loveliness in these crazy, messy lives we live. At least I know it's in my long list of messes where I learn so many of my soul-lessons. It's in my ugliness where His artistic talents transform burdens and unexpected blendings into blessings. Especially lately. Just when I got lost in my own life, His redeeming work revealed itself in a whole new pretty pattern.
Sitting here staring at this screen, my fingers tap out words almost on autopilot as I look back at the last decade of my life. A decade of both devastating and lovely, delicate details adorning the mismatched fabric all stitched together creating me. All at once, I feel a bit sick with overwhelm and overcome with awe at how all the incompatible, unexpected events blend beautifully when displayed as one surprisingly pretty pattern.
Lately my life feels a little like it’s teetering on a tight to a tight rope I'm nearly falling from. Is it just me or are you just barely balancing in the act of daily obligations, striving to find fulfillment in even just one moment of the day? It’s easy to miss the meaning in a stormy sea of stress and struggles. Even the ever-present joy of Jesus can drown in long to-do lists or loud yet lonely moments.
But that’s not what living well is all about!
Seasons come and go. Some offer ease, everything falling right into place. Others test us with storms and stress.
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Each day is a gift.
TODAY is a gift.
Wherever you’re sitting, whatever your soul’s searching for and whatever your mind restlessly roams around in search of, you’ve gotta simply stop to savor this moment right now when you realize how this very day is a gift prepared to give you a little bit of bliss all wrapped up like a quick little kiss.
Have you ever wondered why certain things just go together? Why do sweet and salty combinations complement one another? What made that first person smother peanut butter sprinkled with chocolate chips on top of a stalk of healthy celery? What about dousing sweet, thirst quenching watermelon with salt or wrapping perfectly fermented pickles in a fat-dripping strip of bacon? It’s all so mouth-wateringly unexpected and GOOD!
Seriously though. Isn’t that just like life?
Some things just make me feel old-fashioned. Like kneading and baking homemade bread. It’s a good thing, really! I like to feel a little old school, embodying traditional family values, being ‘that’ mom who wears an apron and kisses her husband who walks relieved through the door after a hard day. I long for those moments and their aroma of home baked bread saturating the air with sounds of kids laughing and playing seeping into my kitchen from their rooms.
Don’t we all just want to feel true love? Whether we admit it or not, our very existence aches for an affection so deep there’s never a cause to doubt. Our human hearts long for an unconditional, unwrappable, gentle, unjudging love. The kind of love that looks at us from veiled eyes so our sins aren’t exposed and our ugliness looks a little like beautifully blended patterns in the actually tainted tapestry of our thoughts and actions.
If I’m being honest, I’ll tell you how dating really sorta stunk. At least behind the scenes where no one witnessed my messiness, fear and frustration over reluctantly starting over it stunk. I mean, what single mom wants to weigh her daughters’ needs with time away building some sort of relationship with a man who may not even fill her needs? I mean, seriously!
Have you ever looked back before you considered what you want in the future? I hadn’t…until now. This year, reflection bore my 2016 resolutions!
For the first time, I’m okay with peering into the rear view mirror in order to make self-improvement. I’m comfortable looking back to move forward. I see how what’s behind defines what’s before me and how the past can create a better future.
